I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
