break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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