Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Non-Jews are for practice
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
