my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
My Higher Power is John Stamos
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
