I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
