I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
