thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Randomize