He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
