i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
