Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Randomize
