Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
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