doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Do you have feelings for this penis?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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