this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize
