she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize