whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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