We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Randomize