suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
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