Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
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