trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize