he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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