i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize