Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
