Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
