oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I need to calm my uterus...
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