I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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