was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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