It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
