I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i think my tv is drunk
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Randomize
