I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
