apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
