I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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