I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
i believe in u and ur pee
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
