She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
