That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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