I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
