so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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