she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Semen is not good for contacts.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
