Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
