I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
