after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
