How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize