she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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