They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
