I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
