Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
