She's JV to your varsity
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
