Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Me too!
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
