In the future we'll all be gay
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
