I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize