that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Randomize
