I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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