But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
