i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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