It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
