I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
the liver wants what the liver wants
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
