nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
