i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
