dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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