She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
he quoted the bible to break up with me
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
