smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
