Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
