Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
