idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
