I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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