NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
