If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Randomize
