when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize