At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
