fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Dicks are not precious.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
