porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
high people should be assigned attendants
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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