What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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