all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
