last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
The ass gains better be worth it
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