she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
