After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I will be naked everywhere
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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