I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
operation harelip BJ is a go
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
