You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
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