I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
