You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
