if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Randomize
