went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
