I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
